I don't care who's wearing what. I don't care about the dance numbers or Hollywood jokes. I care about the winners and losers.
So, without further adieu, here are my 2013 Oscar picks.
There are WAY too many nominees this year. Let's have the Academy do some work and narrow it down to five, please.
The only two films I didn't see were Amour and Beasts of the Southern Wild. They aren't going to win anyway.
Silver Linings Playbook is the most overrated movie of the year. Good performances, but a horrible final 30 minutes of a movie. I sat through all of Les Miserables where Anne Hathaway shines but the English accented singing in France bored me. Django was a lot of fun, but it's twenty minutes too long and not a Best Pic. Life of Pi was gorgeous to look at and a poignant tale, but not the best movie I saw this year.
That leaves Argo, Lincoln and Zero Dark Thirty. I liked Lincoln. A lot. But it's bloated and feels way to Spielbergy at times. It WANTS to be Best Picture, but it's not.
Argo is a very good movie. Affleck got screwed by not being nominated, and any film that hails Hollywood as a hero should be a Best Picture lock. And this one would be, if Zero Dark Thirty didn't come out in the same year.
Zero Dark Thirty was the best movie I saw in 2012. Great acting and directing, fantastic drama, and it never slows down. The performances across the board were excellent. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Killing Osama gets my vote.
My Pick: Zero Dark Thirty
Oscar should be ashamed not nominating Ben Affleck or Kathryn Bigelow. I didn't see Amour or Beasts of the Southern Wild. Silver Linings should not be nominated here either. If Spielberg hadn't already won one, he'd be a lock. But he did, and Life of Pi shows what a visionary director can really do these days. Richard Parker would have gotten a Best Supporting Actor nomination if those previous Oscar winners performances weren't so good.
My Pick: Ang Lee, Life of Pi
He won it when the poster came out. And he deserves it. He's a "Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher" lock. The rest of the field doesn't matter.
My Pick: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Toughest call of the bunch. I've heard that Emmanuelle Riva is fantastic in Amour, but those roles win Supporting Actress statues, not this one. Same goes for Quvenzhane Wallis who is a nice story, but she's not winning. Naomi Watts is incredible in The Impossible, but nobody saw it other than me and my wife.
That leaves Jennifer Lawrence and Jessica Chastain. Both were excellent in their roles. Jessica will get her Oscar someday. This year, my vote goes to Katniss.
My Pick: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
BEST SUPPPORTING ACTOR
There's only one choice for me here, and it's Christoph Waltz. He owns Django (literally and figuratively). Of all of these accomplished actors who were nominated, his performance was simply the best.
And I might be in the minority here, but I felt Deniro was average in Silver Linings Playbook. As a dad, he's fine. But as a bookie, come on. Didn't ring true at all. I love Deniro, but not in this movie.
My Pick: Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Helen Hunt is very good in The Sessions (John Hawkes should have been nominated for Best Actor). Jackie Weaver is barely in Silver Linings overrated. Amy Adams is always good, but never breaks through for some reason. Sally Field's performance in Lincoln reminds me of Deniro's in you-know-what, it's okay but nowhere near where an Oscar winner should be.
If you never see Les Miserables, you should watch the scene where Anne Hathaway sings "I Dreamed a Dream" in a tight close up. I didn't like the movie, but Princess Mia belting that one out is Oscar worthy. Added bonus - her speech will be fun to watch.
My Pick: Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
My pick six: Zero Dark Thirty, Ang Lee, Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence, Christoph Waltz and Anne Hathaway.
Care to wager?